Saturday, November 8, 2014

If you don't have anything good to say...

It has been forever since I posted with any regularity. When I look at my posts since school started, I have barely posted anything. My only "regular" posts were part of a linky. Not good! My mother used to tell me that if I didn't have anything good to say, then I should say nothing at all. I guess I may have taken her words literally as of late. It was a rough start.

My mother has been on my mind a lot lately. Tomorrow, my siblings and I are dividing the antiques and valuables that she painstakingly cleaned, repaired, and refinished. She has been gone for twenty-nine years, but my father had maintained the house with her treasures in place for these many years. He has been in a nursing home for almost two years. He needed daily care that we could not guarantee would be given at home. He is still in relatively good health. He still goes out to some sporting events, dinners, and outings with the nursing home. It is time to close out the house and settle some estate issues. It won't be easy.

Lately, most things haven't been easy. My class had two students added at the beginning of the year that put me over contract. I wrote about it here and here. One of those extras left the state a couple of weeks ago, Thursday was M's was a sweetheart. She worked every day with my aide, as she needed directions restated, and information given in other ways because of a language issue. M and another student had been in unique situations in other schools. My aide was a true advocate for them in my room and the other classes.

I will be without an aide beginning Monday, as I am no longer over contract. It will be a difficult transition. My students and I have grown to depend on DE. She integrated herself into our routine, helped with students without needing prompting from me, and became a friend. She would read me, and knew just what to say to lighten my darkening mood. She regularly issued me theme songs for the day.

I know she read this blog, by a comment she made in her email to me Friday night, after receiving notice from the principal that her position was over. (She was suppose to have had Monday to tie up loose ends, and to give us time to talk with the kids.) I misjudged her. I know my comments in the post hurt her. I regret that I did not make it easier for her. It must be hard to take on a role of aide, when you can be a substitute making more money. As a Christian, I think she has a true desire to make a difference in the lives of students. She did just that, daily, hourly, and by the minute in my room. I will miss her laughter, her friendship, and her songs, but know "I will survive."

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